To The Man Who Loves Me and My Chronic Illness

  1. Thank you for understanding my unpredicablilty: Thank you for understanding the fact that I have good days and bad days. Thank you for understanding that there are some days where I’m going to have the perfect amount of sleep and still wake up exhausted. I can’t thank you enough for those “15 minutes naps” here and there or when I just need to lay in bed all day and watch movies. I know there are some days that you’d rather be out at the mall or just going different places but I want you to know how much it means to me that you stay right next to me. 
  2. Thank you for not messing with my bad habits: You know that coffee, soda, and many other things are bad for anyone, especially someone with my condition but you never fault me if I want Starbucks coffee, a Pepsi, or anything else that I might crave. You understand more than anyone that there are some things I just cannot give up because they allow me to feel like a normal person. You encourage me to feel like I am that normal person in every way, even though I’m not. You don’t get on my case, nor expect me to stop doing the things that I love and enjoy. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that and you. 
  3. Thank you for accepting the shot I have to give myself 3 times a week: Thank you especially for not making me feel like some horrible person when I slip up and don’t take it like I should. However, when I do take it, thank you for being the first one to volunteer to go get the icy pack out of the fridge and warming it up in the microwave for me. Thank you for holding it on my side when I just want to focus on the pain. Thank you for making me laugh when I want to cry because I feel like apart of me is being taken away every time I have to give it to myself. You make dealing with my illness so much easier than it would be if you weren’t around. I just want you to know that you make everything about the situation better. 
  4. Thank you for never allowing me to give up: Of all the things you allow me to do without judgment, you never allow me to do this one thing. You refuse to let me throw myself a pity party or allow myself to feel less of a person because of my illness. You refuse to let me feel sorry for myself. You tell me all the time how strong I am and brave but you also remind me that my illness does not define me. You make me try new things and motivate me to have new outlooks. You give me a new perspective when I want to look at things so ugly. Thank you for always being in my corner; thank you for not giving up on me or allowing me to give up on myself. 
  5. I love you for helping me through Doctor visits: You know I hate going. You know that I hate having to get blood work done and fill out the same paper work over and over again. You know I cannot stand dealing with crappy nurses and sitting in a room for more than 30 minutes for my doctor to come in and talk about the same stuff with me or worse, bring up new stuff. Thank you for knowing my facial expressions and squeezing my hand when I look annoyed. Still, I can’t thank you enough for making every trip better. You make me smile when I want to be angry. You comfort me when I want to stare off into space and think up the most horrible news that they could possibly tell me. Thank you for the hugs, the kisses, the random and weird dancing. You just make those really hard days bearable and I love that about you. 
  6. Thank you for loving me: When we got together, neither of us knew that this would happen. We never prepared for a shot I’d have to take for the rest of my life because of an incurable disease. We didn’t plan for optic neuritis that would impair my vision for the longest time. We had no idea that there would be long nights with headaches and bright lights being so hard on me. I know when you imagined a life together, you probably didn’t think of all of this. I sure as hell didn’t. When I got the diagnosis though, you weren’t afraid. You knew that this would affect our lives in some ways. You knew there was(and that there will always be) the possibility of flare ups and that my body might one day again attack itself in some way but that didn’t scare you off. I know it’s not the easiest thing in the world to love someone who has all these problems but you take them on anyway. For that, I know that you must truly love me. It was at that moment that I knew you weren’t just saying it to say it. It was in the moment of my diagnosis, when you found out the gruesome truth of what our life together could be and you still stayed with me. On that day, I knew you could face the ugliest things and still be the one to find beauty. 

Thank you for loving me and my chronic disease baby. 

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