I am not a perfect woman. I get jealous when I see that a girl I think is prettier than me followed my boyfriend on social media. I get mad when I see the same guy who liked my pictures on Facebook likes another girls pictures. I feel frustrated when I feel so good about my outfits and how comfortable I feel with my body until I take my bra off at night, look in the mirror and feel gross when I stare at my boobs or when I look at my backside and constantly think to myself how perky and beautiful it could be. I’ve been told several times that my body is perfect, my face is flawless, my personality is on point but I’ll never believe it because when I look around the room, I feel intimidated by all the beautiful faces, bodies, and souls I see looking back at me. I feel especially worse when I see girls who’s attributes I am so envious of but some of those girls aren’t very nice in my opinion. It’s like they know they have those beautiful attributes themselves and so they’re stuck up because of it and then I find myself judging those girls because “How is it that they can have all the things that I want but still just be ugly people on the inside? It’s not fair.” There are times when I feel really good about myself but there are also times that my mind goes to these thoughts. I probably experience them twice a day or more and it stinks but I am not a perfect a woman and I am always under construction.
So why do we do this?
The truth is, that as much as we as women are different, we are also the same in many ways.
We are territorial over what is “ours.”
We all want to feel loved and accepted.
We want someone who only has eyes for us.
We all want to succeed in life.
We all want what we think is best for ourselves.
We all want to feel beautiful.
We all want to feel like we matter.
We all want to make a difference.
We are all insecure.
We all have flaws.
We all want to be unique.
You know what’s great about this?
We can be these and that is okay.
You know what’s awful about this?
The fact that we feel we have to one up each other all the time.
The fact that we’re so territorial that if our man cheats, we blame the woman instead of the man.
The fact that we’re so insecure, we hate the idea of anyone being more successful than we are.
The fact that we are all beautiful, but we define our beauty on what the majority of men perceive to be beautiful.
Black girls be winning.
Mixed girls be winning.
White girls be winning.
Latino girls be winning.
Asian girls be winning.
WOMEN be winning.
The eternal truth is that your beauty is not defined by a man, another woman, your best friend, your worst enemy, what the scale beneath your feet says, the number of times a week that you exercise, or the number of times a week that you don’t. Your beauty is not defined by what a magazine describes as beautiful. Be your own kind of beautiful. Be the beautiful that has flaws and weaknesses but embraces her flaws and constantly works to be the best version of herself that she can be. While at it, encourage your fellow female. Society has torn us apart for far too long. If you want to wear a bunch of make up because that makes you feel good about yourself, then do it. If you want to get your breasts done because you will feel better about who you are then do it. If you want to wear tight clothing because that’s how you like your clothes then do it and feel no shame. Just because what you do might not be for someone else, do not let that discourage you because not everything you do in life is going to be for everyone else. Above all though, make sure what you are doing is for YOU. Do not do these things because you want more likes on Instagram or because you think these things will attract people toward you. Focus on self development always; remember that you are forever under construction and you will always have things you need to work on and that’s okay but everything you do in life, let it be about you, no one else. Get your finances in order, get your education, know your worth, constantly strive to achieve the goals that YOU have for YOU. If you spend your life trying to please someone else then you will lose a piece of what makes you incredibly you every single time.
Keep your heels, dreams, and heads high ladies.